Miss Bells

I know I haven’t lost my personality because I finished a book in a day. I used to do it all the time as a kid but with school and social pressures, there never seemed to be enough time recently. Two days ago I read the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

Everyone that has told me anything about it, always mentioned how heavy and dark it was. Esther Greenwood suffered as her mind betrayed her after a summer internship in New York City. Sylvia Plath described Esther’s depression as a Bell Jar appearing over her head and trapping all the sour and negative thoughts swirling inside it.

I got a lot of feelings while reading it, especially after Esther returns home from her summer internship. It’s a feeling I’m sure I’m not alone in. It was like a car crash I couldn’t look away from even if I tried. But the thing attracting me to keep reading was the fact that it felt uncomfortably relatable.

Obviously not the whole thing, it gets really depressing after Esther’s suicide attempt, but having Esther’s first person pov as the Bell Jar descended over her was, incredible. A lot of people criticized it when it came out and I can see why, but also not at all.

Sylvia Plath said she felt like she had to write this book (it’s heavily influenced by her own experiences) in order to put a very hard period of her life behind her. This may sound selfish but, God I wish she hadn’t killed herself. She was writing a new book before her death. I fear that if she had finished it I would have had to say screw you to the exams I’m trying to finish and go out and buy it.

I’m sure it would have been so good I would finish it in another day or two. However I’m grateful for the one book she did leave behind for me to read. I know she’s written a lot of great poems. But poems are hard for me because they can be so abstract. Besides I’m back at my school now, not letting any type of Bell Jars descend. I feel quite focused surprisingly, but still indifferent to the letter grade I will be receiving when it’s all said and done.

Wish me luck!